I have a queue of felines lining up to have their moment in the internet sun, so without further ado, here is Emma, the lovely emerald-eyed matriarch of a family of two humans, three cats, and one puppy (Logan!).

      This is what Emma’s mom Jean has to say about her:
      Emma is my first cat (11 years old) and is very special. She’s a dark gray tabby with green eyes. She’s a bit more standoffish than the others, but that’s just a facade. She’s actually the most codependent of the 3. She is extremely smart (trouble!) and gets into things. I can’t really explain what it is about her that I love best!

      She may not know what it is about Emma that she loves best (if it were up to me, I’d say Those Eyes!) but off camera, Jean told me she does love her best. We all try to appear unbiased and diplomatic, but let’s not p-foot around the issue here and call a spade a spade. We all have our favorites. Favorite color, favorite aunt, favorite cocktail, favorite method of social networking…There’s a reason my business is Fat Orange Cat Studio and not Skinny Grey Tabby Cat with the Truncated Tail Studio (Baxter does have a truncated tail, all crunchy and occasionally troublesome, remind me to show you). It is true: My choice is Veebs, and Jean’s is Emma.

      So much of a favorite is Emma that there are bed linens that match the cat’s coloring. It was a deliberate, calculated move. As a fellow member of the Crazy Cat Lady Club of North America, I appreciate her choice of decor inspiration very much.

      “Ha ha. I’m so pretty.”

      “Unbearably pretty.”

      “But I never complain.”

      Emma is not only an elegant and proper cat, she is also extremely…well-trained.

      Jean busted out the treats, commanded Emma to “sit!” and lo and behold. She sat. The seas parted. I freaked. She sat! On command! A cat! did this. All three of her cats in fact. Spooky!

      “Lower, please.”

      Jean says cats are trainable when a reward is involved, just as dogs. Not to discredit her – I mean I SAW THREE CATS SIT ON COMMAND – but I highly doubt Veebs or even Baxter is smart (or dumb?) enough to be trained. True, Veebs who will do just about anything for roast beef. But getting him to sit for roast beef won’t work, because as you’re getting ready to make a sandwich, he’s already planted himself next to you on his fat bottom. Waiting. He’s three steps ahead of you.

      So for roast beef can I get Veebs to roll over? Shake hands? Stop molesting the carpet?? Use the toilet??? Do the accounting????

      “Pfffth. Get real.”

      No, no one’s as smart, or as pretty, as Emma.

      “Going for a nap now. Please make sure the puppy’s not here when I return kthx.”

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      She’s a really gorgeous kitty. I love that kind of gray-white-green coloration! I’m pretty sure my Kitty could force herself to sit when lured with a treat, BUT she would never actually lower herself to such disgraceful behavior, haha!

      Oh my, she’s gorgeous. My kitties stand up for a treat, but not on command, only if you’re standing in the area of the treats and look like you might hand them one.

      Emma needs an agent. She is stunning.

      what an expressive face that cat has!

      Emma can also stand and lay down on command. But only if you show her the treat. If there is no treat, there is no trick.

      I forgot to mention that Emma is also like the “nurse” cat. When she gets extremely cuddly and starts grooming you like mad (OUCH!), call in sick for the next day. She always seems to when someone is coming down with a cold.

      Oh, and I love that you thought Emma was elegant. She isn’t. She’s an alleycat through and through. The pretty is just a facade. She has been known to dig in the trash for food, lick dirty dishes in the sink, lick pots and pans clean. It’s because she’ll (literally) do anything for food that makes her so easily trainable.

      Emma could take over the world if she only had opposable thumbs and the power of speech. Rich thinks she really only needs the opposable thumbs.